I have a story about what others think.

19 Apr

I was walking with my friend down one of the pathways at my university. I was really frustrated because my hair had gotten damp from the rain. My friend turned to me and told me my hair looked fine. Then, she started to complain about her hair.

This time, I turned to her, and genuinely told my friend that it was fine the way it was.

It was then that I realized something. Most of the things that people dislike about themselves, I don’t even notice. When I walk down the street, I don’t stare at someone and think “Oh my gosh, her hair looks terrible.” I bet most of you don’t, either.

So, if you don’t, and I don’t, then who does?

Really, if no one even notices your slightly curly hair, why worry about their opinion?

Some of these ideas are based on Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen’s article, Body Image and Fear of Intimacy.

Image via  [JO]² – Immortal Lens -( Youssef Hanna ).


4 Responses to “I have a story about what others think.”

  1. Nadine May 17, 2010 at 4:44 am #

    No, yeah, I’ve come across this idea myself too. I don’t criticize people on the street the way I run my life to accommodate. So I’ve decided to act for myself, because the people that really know you always accept your actions when they’re genuine. And, I don’t know… that’s all you really need. I wouldn’t want to spend my life trying to make friends with the kind of people who would criticize some little thing.

    • tenthousandchandeliers May 17, 2010 at 5:20 am #

      Yeah, for sure. That’s a really good way to look at it, I know I’ve spent a lot of time concentrating on a person’s opinion who ultimately doesn’t matter to me that much.
      At the time it seemed like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It’s nice not to feel like I have to care so much.

  2. Tara Melissa May 26, 2010 at 10:59 pm #

    That’s a good point. To be honest, people are more interested in picking themselves apart than noticing the small things that are wrong with others. What’s worse, pointing these flaws out to a person only allows them to notice something they may not have previously seen. What’s the benefit in that?

    • tenthousandchandeliers May 27, 2010 at 1:31 am #

      There’s a quotation by Olin Miller that says “We probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do.” That kind of re-iterates your point.
      I totally agree with you about pointing out perceived flaws. Once something like that is in my head, it’s really hard to get out. It also makes me really dislike the person for saying it, haha.

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